And Then They Rested...
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| Let's Discuss! |
Welcome to my discussion board! My storybook is linked above as "And Then They Rested...". Enjoy and thanks for the feedback!
Photo credits:
Everyone keeps telling me to change my major... Welcome to the blog! My name is Rhys and I am a senior Psychology major! When I'm not scrambling to complete my degree, I work as a 3D printing student specialist for OU Libraries and as a lab assistant for the OU Visual Neuroscience Laboratory. I'm looking forward to graduating this summer after a study abroad trip to Scotland. Move In Day! When I'm not at work or school, I spend my time entertaining a variety of hobbies including programming, circuit building, 3D art, animation, and design, 3D printing, video production, visual effects, and cooking! I spend quite a lot of time working on all of these things, which has led to a running joke among my family and friends that I declared the wrong major. 3D World Animation I'm always looking to learn new skills. I honestly love learning and school. In fact, I plan on pursuing a career in academia as a psychology researcher. Essentially, I plan on never lea
Hi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI think this is a really cool idea! I do not think I would have ever thought of something like this. But that is one reason I enjoy this class very much. You get to see so many creative variances among people from all kinds of background, but we all have at least one thing in common which is being a student at OU. I really appreciate your title, "And then they rested...". This is such a cool spin off of the biblical creation story and other stories. Creating a universe would be exhausting!
A suggestion I have is that it might be cool to make your banner image for this introduction the picture of the Storyteller. Currently, your banner image is the same as the Home page, but these images can be different on each page. I just think the Storyteller image looks a little out of place where it is currently. At the very least you could maybe try to center it to the page? But overall I think this is a great idea and a great introduction to the idea. I can't wait to see how you integrate these stories together!
Hey Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI am very intrigued and I am looking forward to reading the rest of your story book. I am definitely going to be bookmarking your page!
As I was reading through the introduction, questions I was going to ask in my comment popped into my head and then it seemed like you answered right after. So that is a good thing! Your story book had me questioning things but you kept a nice flow where you answered shortly after. This really kept me engaged. I think that this can be hard to do sometimes, especially in an introduction that in retrospect, isn't very long.
This is a really creative take on a story book project. I am interested in how the elder is going to tell these stories. He says that nothing the children have learned is necessarily wrong, but it is all about interpretation. He then goes on to say that he will tell the "true story" as was told to him many years ago. I wonder how he will balance the "truth" and also his own interpretation when telling the stories.
I can't wait to find out!
Hi Rhys,
ReplyDeleteI am already eager to continue reading on in this story as your introduction story left me hanging like a game of thrones season finale. I really enjoyed how you developed a sense of wondering and deeper thinking into the audience by writing in a style that conveys the attitude of a higher-being of some form. I feel like stories like this can go on to show a multitude of valuable lessons through each new development, along with showing how characters rise above their challenges that are facing them to become stronger versions of themselves. In many of the readings that I have completed so far for this class, I think that there are many forms of this message that work their way into the narrative and almost change my perspective on life. I cant wait to see how your story book develops as the semester rolls on, and I'm looking forward to seeing how your writing might be able to challenge or change my perspective on an aspect of my own life.
Hey Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI loved the storyteller in your introduction. He seems like a kind and trustworthy elder; the perfect source for a creation story! I am excited to see how you combine the many creation stories that exist. It seems like each culture has their own version of events. While I can see how some may fit together, others seem far off. It will be interesting to see if you keep the famous characters and events from each myth or if you will be creating something totally knew. The sense of wonder that is created through your introduction is a great hook to keep readers coming back for more.
I think if you start to introduce elements from other myths that can't stand alone in their explanation, I would add a brief background section. It is very likely that everyone will not be familiar with every creation story you employ, so giving some background into that specific story or character could really aid in a deeper understanding. I think this storybook has a lot of room to teach some great morals and get a new perspective on how we understand the world to be. Excited to come back and see how this project comes to life!
Hey Rhys,
ReplyDeleteI think that this story prompt is a really fun idea, and I like how you have set up the story so far in your introduction. The elder character seems like an eloquent narrator, and you do a good job of having him set up the main goal of your storybook in a succinct and interesting way. I wonder how many creation stories will be implemented? Obviously there are only a few stories that you can feasibly write about, but how do you choose a few from such a wealth of options without making the others feel left out? Especially among creation stories that have been more widely spread in the modern world, such as those from major religions like Christianity, Islam, and Hinduism.
Regardless, I'm eager to read more and I'm very excited to see how you will merge these different creation stories together into something cohesive. Great job!
Hi Rhys! I wanted to let you know that your project is among the few that I have bookmarked so that I can continue reading it as you post more, that is how good I think it is. I love that your storyteller says that Chaos has been given many names, that is actually what I personally believe religions are, just different names for the same thing. I also think that merging all of these creation stories into one is genius, in the end they are all trying to explain our life and our origins, so it makes sense that they are essentially all the same. I do think you should provide more context and background to the different stories and myths you mention. I know you did sort of do this in your author's note, but I would elaborate a little bit more, just to help people follow along the story. Aside from that, I think your storybook is great and I am looking forward to reading the rest of it!
ReplyDeleteHey Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI had to come back and see what direction you were going to take in these creation myths and I am definitely not disappointing. As an avid lover of Greek mythology, your reference to Chaos was greatly appreciated. I love that this was the focal point of your story. Honestly, this explanation fits very well with properties of physics and chemistry as well, haha. I loved the voice the storyteller has. Your use of vocabulary really portrays his character, and old, wise, and patient one. This is an aspect, I think, that really makes your project so great. The storyteller makes or breaks the story, and yours definitely sets it up for great success. My only suggestion is to reread this story out loud. There were a few areas where the wording felt repetitive or awkward, you'd catch this in a vocal reading. Other than that, I think your project is one of the best I have read and I look forward to future stories!
Hey Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI love your storybook! You have amazing writing talent as well as website building. I loved the colors you used because it made everything really pop! I have grown to love Greek mythology What attracted you to dedicate your semester story book about Greek mythology?
I enjoyed, as well as many of our peers enjoyed how you talked about chaos in your storybook. I think that such an important idea to focus on so I encourage you to go even deeper into that. I think you character development has been great! Your introduction had such a strong start and I was able to paint an idea of what they looked like with all the details your incorporated. I’m excited to hear this story from Elder’s point of view and what that might look like! I really don’t have any suggestions other than keep doing what you’ve been doing. Great job!
Hey Rhys!
ReplyDeleteYour story book is such a great topic! I honestly do not have any feed back, you did a job well done. The introduction pulled in the reader and your first story was so well written. The concept that everything begins with chaos. Your first story reminded me of the second law of thermodynamics. The second law of thermodynamics basically says that the universe increases in entropy, a system moves from states of order to disorder. Think of it like ice melting the ice form/ solid state is a more order state than the water melting and it being liquid (disorder).
Hi Rhys! I just came from reading the introduction and the first story on your site. Let me just say, I love this concept. Consolidating all the myriad creation myths into one is so cool, but it must also be a pretty tough thing to you. So, kudos to you for taking this on! I like the idea of the narrator as a wise kind of curator of myth, and the tone they speak with is gentle and welcoming. I also love the idea of Chaos being the start of everything, being everything itself. The gods and creators of various myths then are extensions of that initial being, which is a really good way of consolidating all those different stories. In terms of comments, I don't see any big problems. Your grammar is good, my only recommendation would be maybe to use italics or bold to emphasize certain words, maybe just to give the narrator a bit more character. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the story so far as it is much more aware and almost scientific compared to a lot of what we have been reading so far this semester. As a mechanical engineering student myself, I have taken multiple classes that got briefly into the idea or theory around the big bang, which left me wanting to know more. I notice that the first page revolves around the idea of the big bang known as Chaos as that is a very accurate name to describe a concept so vague. I really like the idea of the Chaos acting as the catalyst for change to this day as it is synonymous to the entropy of the universe as well as it dividing its power among "gods," that will be later covere. Lastly, I love the idea of the storyteller and think that playing into him showing his character is really great for your story going forward. Can't wait to see where you go with the story and am looking forward to reading the rest!
Hey, Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI hope your semester is going well, so far! Right off the bat, I’m hooked on your storybook. This is the coolest concept! I don’t think that I ever would have thought to combine creation stories! Your introduction is awesome. I was reading it and honestly, I wanted it to keep going! I was a little taken aback when it ended, but not in a bad way! I just had to know more. This is great for grabbing readers in! It made me eager to move right on to The Beginning.
In The Beginning, I love that you lay out a bunch of different names that the point has been called. I think it was a good move to go with “chaos,” too! I love that you used this to draw from many different religions and myths and types of folklore. You did a great job of explaining how other beings came into creation and that you would tell us more about them later!
I want to read more. I was so disappointed when it ended! I also almost wish I had more for you regarding corrections, but these stories look super well put-together and nicely edited and revised.
All around, great job! This storybook is amazing!
Can’t wait to see more!
Tricia
Hi Rhys! I love the concept of your storybook. There are so many different creation stories, beliefs, and theories out there, and consolidating them into one, clear narrative is a really interesting idea. What I'm most excited to see is which stories you choose for each part of the creation story. I loved using the idea of Chaos and a single point as your starting point. This one is a common theme among many different sides of creation. What will you do for the creation of Earth? What about the creation of mankind? There are so many ways to mix and match the different concepts together in your storybook! In many different cultures there are different ideas of higher powers. Some are monotheistic, some are polytheistic. Many have no concept of a deity, but just a sacred energy. Others have no deity at all. I am curious to see how you merge these stories when their idea of deities varies from one to another.
ReplyDeleteHey Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI'm from the Epics of India class but for this week we were allowed to browse and comment on something from the other class, so I thought I'd take a look at yours! First, I love the layout of your home page. It's very aesthetically pleasing and easy to navigate. Upon looking at your stories, I realized immediately that I needed to read the Author's Note first, as I have no background knowledge of the myths used in the stories. After doing so the stories made much more sense. which I guess is what the Author's Note is there for! I like your storytelling approach to your beginning story, as if it's been read to a group of children. It's something unique that I haven't seen in my class, and it was very refreshing to read. The story was very well done and interesting to read, so keep up the good work!
Hi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteI'm back... again! I can easily say that your project is my favorite! There are a lot of great ones, so that is quite an accomplishment! I think yours is my favorite for two reasons: you touch on a lot of my favorite myths, and your writing style.
The solar system stories were great. They encompassed so many different creation stories, had realistic elements of science and physics, and still captured that brilliant, lovable storyteller. I am a sucker for Egyptian mythology and was hoping you would touch on these stories in your project. I can agree that Ra doesn't get the happiest ending, and if you stick to those myths as inspiration, it is hard to even allow him one. I also loved your incorporation of Aztec myths. This is also something I enjoyed before this class so it was fun to see your incorporation of Tecciztecatl to save Ra and his creation.
To keep myself from rambling too much, I'll just say that all of these stories were very well done. I only saw a few typos/errors, but that is understandable with how these stories came about (I too find myself in long periods of inspiration late at night, haha). Easy fixes during the revision process. I also understand how word count can become limiting when you tackle complex stories. Telling one story from so many perspectives can be very hard to do with just 1000 words!
Again, love love love this project and am excited to read more. Wish I could give more constructive feedback, but everything is very well done!
Wow. Just... wow. As I mentioned the last time I read your project, I think your storybook is by far one of the best in the entire class, and having finished reading all of the stories, my opinion has not changed. First of all, you are an amazing storyteller. Your style is so effortless and beautiful, it catches my attention so deeply that it leaves me wanting more and more. And then the stories, wow. I loved how you managed to weave so many myths and cultures together, I honestly don't know how you did it. One would think that mixing so many myths would make your stories feel heavy or confusing, but nope, they are just perfectly balanced and written in a way that makes it feel like they belong together. I think my personal favorite are the story of the earth (Ymir and Odin) and of the moon (Tecciztecatl). They are both beautifully written and just the right amount of sad. I honestly love your storybook so much and I am sad you are finished with it because I would really love it if you had more stories for me to read. Maybe you could explore adding a final story about the Apocalypse or the end of time and how everything returns to Chaos, just as a way of giving closure to the storybook!
ReplyDeleteHi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteThe design of your website is very unique! The egg solar system thing on the home page gets me every time. I also appreciate the rectangular links on the bottom of the home page, linking us to the comment wall and each story. This makes it seem more user friendly.
One thing I would probably change is the top picture for the stories. First, I would update the picture to be a cover photo (so that we can see the whole picture). But then I would also considering changing this picture for each unique story. For instance, The Solar System stories could have a picture of the solar system, and then the picture of the planet/moon your story is about for each unique story. But overall the layout of the set of Solar System stories is very unique and cool. Obviously, these are just suggestions and I can tell you have put a lot of work into this project!
Hi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteChecking back in and I must say I was looking forward to seeing where your storybook was headed as a fellow STEM major. I really appreciate how you seamlessly combine the multitude of different origin stories and creation stories that man kind has come up with across the years and manage to tie it in with scientific aspects like the Big Bang that I think you named Chaos, but I could be wrong. Another aspect of this storybook that sticks out to me is the ability to select which story you want to go to next such as the Earth, the Sun, and the Moon when going into the creation of the Solar System. I am also still a big fan of the narrator character and think his inclusion makes for a nice sprinkle of wit and personality into the storybook. Overall, I really like where your storybook is headed and can't wait to read the rest of it!
Hi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteThis week the focus of the project feedback is: Author's Notes. Your first story, "The Beginning" was so good! The author's notes were great also! I really appreciated the way you described why and how you chose the inspirations for your story. I think these author's notes give us a great insight into the behind the scenes that typical stories do not. One adjustment I would maybe make to the notes for your first story is to add links. If you could at least link the two main stories that gave you inspiration (or even more!) that would be so cool. To be able to read what you think and then easily read the original would make the consumption of your story easier.
The author's notes for your "Solar System" stories are very in-depth. The detail you give to describe your decisions, especially after the last story is very informative and shows your creativeness. I still think linking some of these stories to the original source would be very helpful. Also, the last author's note was very enjoyable, and also very long. I did not mind but I could see some people forgoing the read because of how long it is. Great job - keep up the good work!
Hi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteChecking back in again with your storybook and I really appreciate how you seamlessly combine the multitude of different origin stories and creation stories that man kind has come up with across the years and manage to tie it in with scientific aspects like the Big Bang that I believe you named Chaos, but I could be wrong and I was looking forward to seeing where your storybook was headed as a fellow science major.Another aspect of this storybook that sticks out to me is the ability to select which story you want to go to next such as the Sun, the Earth, and the Moon when going into the creation of the Solar System. I am also still a big fan of the narrator character and think his inclusion makes for a nice addition of charisma and personality into the storybook. Overall, I really like where your storybook is headed and can't wait to read the rest of it!
Hi Rhys,
ReplyDeleteI like how you combined multiple stories and made them your own. I like how you approach your overall details. Those are the things I look forward to most in the stories. This allows me to see inside your thought process when you are creating a story. I like them. I like how you combined a lot of aspects and made these stories come to life. How you go about the approach is my favorite thing about your whole project. I think you are doing a good job and I can't wait to read what you choose to write next. Everything was well written and flowed so nicely, I have no complaints about anything. And congrats on graduating.
Hi Rhys,
ReplyDeleteAwesome job on your storybook. I can tell how much hard work you put into it. The content is amazing and you did a great job choosing pictures that go along with your stories and add to them.
The author's notes were also very detailed and informative. On your author's note for the first story, you gave us insight into your thought process as you wrote that story. You mentioned how you took several ideas from different stories and made it your own. You also gave us lots of background information. We were really able to look into the writing process and appreciate the research and effort that you put into that story.
As I was reading your author's note for "The Earth," I love how you implemented the title of your story in the beginning. This is great because it helps your readers know how you came up with the title and where it came from.
All of your author's notes were very detailed and informative. Great job overall!
Hi Rhys!
ReplyDeleteThis storybook may have been the most well thought out one that I have read so far! The way you structured the stories so that there are little hints towards the other stories in them is really clever. This leads to the storybook feeling very connected throughout. I think the stories of the Earth and the Sun are really good at showing the loneliness of existing in their situation. Both just wanted company, and ended up sacrificing for it. For Ymir, he sacrificed his body to give his friend Odin a stable home. For Ra, he sacrificed his power after being betrayed by his own children. I think the first is kind of somber, but sweet at the same time. The latter, however, is really depressing and I feel for Ra, he did nothing to deserve the ending that he received. That being said, at least both of them get to rest afterwards, which was a great way to tie in the title of the storybook!